Winghart's

I may try Winghart's again and edit my rating if my 2nd visit is better, but my 1st visit made me feel like I had just listened to Metallica's "St Anger" record; like a disappointed seventeen year old. I ordered the shipwreck burger, medium rare. The toppings on this burger are awesome, but my burger came out well done. I purposely ordered a medium rare because I wanted it medium, and I know that joints like Burgatory and this place tend to overcook their burgers slightly. Of course when it came out well done I was incensed.

The place doesn't really have a drink menu, or a beer list. I asked the waiter for a beer recommendation and he said "well, I don't drink." That's like going to a furniture store, asking the sales associate "How is this bed?" And he responds with "I don't know, I sleep on a futon." The fries were fine. Overall, this was a disappointing meal, ruined by poor execution by both the front of the house (shoddy service), back of the house (comically overcooked burger), and management (no drink menu or beer list printed, hiring less-than-excellent staff).

Uhhh, more like Wingfarts LOLOLOL!!!111

Tacoquest Pittsburgh: Mad Mex

I swore that I wouldn't go back. I didn't want to. I knew that all that there was for me was pain and disappointment. No matter how many times I tried, the result was always the same. When I left, I had to take that familiar walk of shame out onto highland avenue, bloated with indigestion, ethanol emanating from my pores . But I had nowhere else to go. I had to go to Mad Mex. I continue to go there, even though I don't want to. I have an abusive relationship with Mad Mex.

As far as the standard tex-mex fare goes, I think one thing Mad Mex really nails is that perfect combination of sour cream and salsa [/sarcasm]. Their exectutive chef must have been a highschool cafeteria lady at one point. It's boring, and slightly too expensive. When you take a concept like tex-mex fusion, you have a lot of room to do some really creative things like putting something other than sour cream and salsa on your tacos. Mad Mex just drops the ball. They load their burritos with so much rice that you can't taste anything.

This is what the tacos look like

This is what the tacos taste like

Like any abusive relationship, I try to convince myself to ignore the bad, and emphasize whatever few good qualities exist. While Mad Mex's main offerings (tacos, burritos, enchiladas) are categorically disappointing to me, I've eaten there enough times to find some gems.  The "Pennsyltucky Tofu" is a cheap appetizer consisting of fried tofu, sprouts, sweet soy, cilantro and peanuts. It's simple, but completely satisfying. Mad Mex's wing sauces, for the most part, are pretty great, and seitan wings are available for vegetarians or people who don't want to eat two pounds of chicken. The beer selection is always very good, and the cocktails are adequate.

As a place for to get tacos or any of the taco's delicious cousins, Mad Mex is not good. When you take into account other factors like the bar, friendliness of the staff, and good happy hour specials, Mad Mex is a pretty good place. If you're hanging out with me and you hear me fart, I swear it wasn't Mad Mex. I walked into a door.

Rating: two and a half beardholes out of four

Tacoquest Pittsburgh: Casa Rasta*

One of the primary functions of Beardhole Pleasures is to catalog the author's experiences as he tries to consume tacos from every taco-selling establishment in Pittsburgh. Tacoquest starts NOW.

Beechview is an urban wasteland. For nearly a year, residents without cars had no access to groceries when the Foodland closed. The entire time that I have lived in Beechview the most traveled intersection has been filled with empty storefronts; properties left to rot by an absentee landlord, living it up in Brazil. Lifelong residents of the neighborhood shuffle around, waiting for public transportation, telling whoever wants to hear about how it used to be a nice neighborhood until the "coloreds" moved in. "And there's lots of MEXICANS too!"

Pictured: A rare glimpse of the cliff-dwelling Beechview subspecies known as "racist fuck."

Do you want a draft beer? Well, yeungling is the best you can get, and the lines are probably so dirty don't be surprised if you cough up a chunk of yeast. If the rent wasn't so cheap, I would have have made my exodus years ago. After 4 1/2 years of living on top of shit mountain, a new food option finally popped up: Casa Rasta.

Casa Rasta has no sign save a crayon drawing in the window. When I first noticed it, I was walking to a friend's house to watch wrestling (a popular activity in Beechview). Upon passing a building that I knew to be a closed pizza shop, I saw that there was a lit-up "open" sign in the window. As I walked past I thought, "Open? What's open?" When I returned later in the week, during daylight, I noticed that the exterior of the building had been painted. I sauntered in from the cold, excited to have food in Beechview for the first time that wasn't pizza or bar food.

I was greeted by two dreadlocked smilers who were the namesakes of the establishment. They are a married couple who just moved back to Pittsburgh after a brief stint in San Diego.

The Menu

The menu consists of reasonably priced favorites including tacos with corn tortillas (store bought, but good nonetheless), tostadas (hard tacos), burritos in flour tortillas, and tortas; a sort of Mexican sandwich. After taking an exceptionally long time to order, I finally decided on three tacos: asada, carnitas and jamaican jerk chicken.

The asada and carnitas were palatable. Served with cilantro and what appeared to be house-made red or green salsa, I had no reason to complain, but what really got me going (sexually) was the Jamaican Jerk(off) Chicken. Bursting with tangy and sweet flavor, the texturally satisfying chicken was complemented perfectly by fresh mango-avocado salsa.

I now only eat my chicken in jerk form.

Subsequent visits to Casa Rasta yielded consistently gartifying results. Highlights of return trips include: rajas, jerk chicken with the burrito option, chorizo and soyrizo. The soyrizo was so convincing that I'm quite confident that I would not have been able to differentiate between the two in a blind taste test.

Beechview doesn't deserve Casa Rasta, but perhaps Casa Rasta signals the turning point for the dying neighborhood. An initiative to revitalize Broadway has brought about a charcuterie, a non-profit coffee shop, and an awful, awful IGA grocery store. If Beechviewers can adqeuately support these new establishments, maybe it won't be so awful to live here anymore.

-Mike Moustache

*DISCLAIMER: I'm not from Mexico. I haven't lived in SoCal. I'm not Mexican, and I don't claim to be an expert on Mexican food. For these reasons, TACOQUEST articles will make no mention of the concept of AUTHENTICITY. Put that shit in your beardhole.**
**DISCLAIMER DISCLAIMER: Beardhole Pleasures does NOT recommend putting shit in your beardhole.